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Pacman gives Cows many options

“Pacman” Jones’ arrival in Dallas gives the Cowboys an elite shutdown corner to go along with Terrance Newman, a game-breaking punt returner the team hasn’t had since the days of Deion Sanders, and tremendous flexibility in the upcoming draft as the Cows already have two first-round picks and one less glaring need.

The Cows could take a receiver to groom for a future without T.O. They could take a top-notch running back to complement Marion Barber. They could take an offensive lineman to add depth to an aging and important unit.

But let’s get down to what really matters with Pacman. He immediately has the tightest medallion on the team – the giant diamond Pacman medallion he wore on draft day. I can’t help but hear Lil’ Wayne in my head while looking at it. But he brings a number of off-the-field skills as well.

What if the Cowboys need to defend themselves at a bar? Pacman knows how to beat a guy half to death with a pool stick. He showed it in college when he did just that.

Will the Cowboys ever need to create a diversion at a strip club? I don’t know the answer to that question, but if they do, Pacman once littered $80,000 in cash on a stage of strippers, causing utter chaos. That sounds like a suitable diversion to me.

What happens if a Cowboy is in an unsatisfactory relationship? Pacman knows how to get rid of her. He’s been accused of punching and spitting on women multiple times. This guy is as versatile as it gets.

I just wish the Giants had traded for him.

Comments

Don't forget that he's also friends with Michael Irvin. So he has solid role models and a healthy support system.

He sounds like a bad ass.

And for some reason...Lil Wayne has been playing a lot in my head lately, too.

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